A pressing Question...

Barry Lopez:

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.

My own pressing question for the day:

Why is it that the things in life that are truly "good" for me, the things that I benefit most from--are the things that I dread most?

For example:

Ask me what I would choose to eat, show me a menu and the last thing I choose is a salad. Now when I EAT salad (maybe it comes with my meal or maybe I am being disciplined and order one), it is delicious and satisfying.

Another example:

Cleaning...what would I choose to do for the day-visit with friends, get out of the house, etc., of anything I could do, cleaning comes up last...but give me an unplanned weekend and a bucket of cleaning supplies. I sit down when the deeds are done and bask in the glory of a clean slate!

It could go on...

Given spare moments, do I exercise for a half hour or fill up my time with other activities that appear to be less "work" (facebook, a bath, reading a book, etc.) The rare times that I have been taking lately to exercise, the feeling when I'm done is a rewarding one!

I see it throughout my workday as well.

So why is it that I focus on the agony involved and not the end result? Why can't I ask myself the question-

What is going to make the most sense of my time? Or my health?

Rather than go for the short-term indulgence...can't I want what is best in the end? What is more gratifying? I think it is because it takes discipline that I seem to lack. I get caught up in the whims that life throws at me and take my eyes off of the finish line!

And perhaps the reasons or even excuses if you will, could go on. I used to be very philosophical. Something happened over time that made that go away-or maybe it was there the whole time and I just didn't share it.

It is almost February and though I've become a bit more organized with my time management, bill-paying, grocery shopping, working toward some "New Year's Goals," I think it is time that I make some right choices.

What is best for the long haul?

What is healthy for my mind, my body, my spirit?

What will be the best example to set for my children?

What exactly IS God's will?

The struggle and sacrifice will be worth the reward, of course without the reward being the motivation.

Deuteronomy 6:18

18 Do what is right and good in the LORD's sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers,

The road to a friends house is never long...but the hospital is closer!

The last time I went to visit my friend, Lynnell, in Princeton was in early November. Our "perfect" day together was brought a bit short by a phone call from her mom that her dad was being taken to the hospital. The whole idea of the day was that we were together and that we were until later that night when I dropped her off at her parents after being at the hospital for several hours.

Since that time, Lynnell's wonderful father, Al, has left this earth to meet his maker.

Saturday, January 10th, we were able to get our schedules cleared from holiday gatherings, etc. to pick up where we left off! Princeton is about 1 1/4 hours away from Lake Mills and I think getting there is half the fun for me! This trip was sans children, nor husband. Not that I don't love them dearly, but it was time for mommy to have some personal time to get away and reflect & rest!
Brian & Lynnell live on Huckleberry Road just outside of town. The road there is just as it sounds...a fairytale! The photo above is me pulling into their driveway.
Mindy, the black lab, looks out the window with us at the pretty birds! We had coffee and treats from the new bakery in Lake Mills. (Yummo!) Lots of catching up to do! The Lichtenberg's even have a flock of turkeys that venture into the yard for a snack--(just didn't have my camera to catch the action on film!)
After shopping at some downtown shops, we took a much earned break for some Bloody Mary's at a local saloon! Before you knew it, it was time to meet up with Brian for supper. We ended up at the Log Cabin on Lake Puckaway, where Brian & Lynnell met!
After a few cocktails there, we headed over to a place called Good Old Days. Hilariously funny times, as to be expected in the "Adventures of Lynnell & Tara!" It all came to an end too quickly, though.Sunday morning, after a seemingly long night of rest for me (any night in a bed all by myself is long!), I woke up and snuck out, hoping to make my way home in time for 10:30 church. The sun was just on it's way up as you can see!
By now, this road trip is not a new one. I am just about ready to experiment with my "Auto-pilot" on the Jeep, hitting the "Lynnell's House" button, waiting for it to deliver me safely. I was sure to have the camera ready to catch my favorite church on the way home. Only moments after spilling my scalding hot coffee all over my right thigh and counsel. Good Morning...and welcome to your trip home! I walked in the door at 132, rushing to get me and the kids off to church...only to meet up with Christian, who had some plans of his own. You see, he had an awful pain in his left side that got progressively worse from the time I walked in. After just a few minutes, the pain was so intense he could barely walk and "Mommy, it hurts to breath." A call into the doc on call and a decision to get him to the ER in Fort. Of course, by the time we were there, he was able to walk into the hospital. What would follow was the record-time trip to the hospital. Check One: PAC poking, prodding, and letting him jump on the bed. Check Two: Doctor confirming the constipation. Check Three: Dismissal papers and out the door we went to Walgreens for poop juice that looks like grape soda!
WELCOME HOME, MOM!!

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27

"Those who think it cannot be done should stay clear of those who are doing it."

I read that on the wall at Lakeside Lutheran High School last night. It made me think about the time I called the cellphone company, begging to get Dan's phone back with some very important photos on it. Do you know what the woman told me?

"IT CANNOT BE DONE."

Not possible. Nope. Could I talk to her manager? Nope. Because there are millions of phones that get returned to that facility and they do not have a way to track one out of a million. Frustrated and upset, I made a chain of phone calls which started with the post office in Lake Mills, strung onto the post office of the city where the phone was shipped (several calls within the same organization on that one), then onto the customer service department of Signal (the company that the insurance is through). It was then I finally heard what I wanted to hear...
a woman named Jackie told me, "I will do some checking and get back to you. I'll see what I can do."
At that point, she could have been blowing sunshine where it doesn't belong, but hey, that's what I wanted to hear and she said it.
But did she mean it?
About two weeks later, she left a message with Shelli, telling her she found the phone and where would I like it mailed back to?
Unbelievable.
She did it. Jackie performed the IMPOSSIBLE. She tracked down one phone out of a million. Perhaps she should be our next President! That is amazing! Even more of a surprise when the phone-in it's pitiful, runover by a tow-truck misery-arrived-I believe on Dan's birthday!!

And so I ask you...are the one who says it cannot be done? Or the one that the others should stay clear of?

Just my random thoughts that maybe should be kept to myself, but today I decided to share!

Gathering together...

Last night we went to my brother's house to celebrate Christmas. My Grandma Vitense was there and we took my mom along for a quaint gathering at Tim & Jerzy's new place in Sun Prairie.Mallory got to exercise her passion for taking care of dogs by giving them treats after they did their "duty" outside. Bridgette, Lily, and Apree all were very well behaved and adjusted well to the kids invading their orderly home.
Dan relaxed with a few beers and did some watching: 1) Christian playing his new Indiana Jones game on his DS and 2) TV!!

We ate some very yummy food for supper and indulged in some tasty desserts! (More incentive for those good-intentioned resolutions!) We chatted, reminisced, drank wine and after a long day of work...I got to relax for a spell. Ever had relaxing "hurt?" Yep, but eventually it goes away and then good luck getting up! The kids loved their gifts (yes, Tim, they did! The first thing Christian did this morning was hand me his Spiderman basketball hoop and asked to have it opened!). Other than being late, the rest of the time together was yet another blessing to tally on the wall of life!

Happy New Year...gonna miss you!

Here we are. January 1, 2009. A time to reflect on the past and set new goals and aspirations for the new year. Our Christmas went by all so fast and can you believe we bid the The Shefferman Family farewell today after their week long stay here in Wisconsin?? Every year they come I think just maybe I can take time away to spend doing fun family stuff, only to get all consumed by the day-to-day tasks of running the business. Which leaves me with the guilt of feeling as though I have "dumped" my children on them to tag along wherever & whenever they go and do. With the knowledge that they would do anything for their niece and nephew and that the time they all spend together is the priceless memories that they will carry with them as they grow, the guilt does not seem to get any better. I am writing this in hopes that the retrospect will help me going into 2009 remember that work will always be there and family time is the best gift we can be given. A special treasure to cherish.

We did get to share some time with Mark & Pam last night, ringing in the New Year at Blue Moon here in Lake Mills. They had a band called the Blue Olives that just completely rocked our world!

This morning, the kids got to just hang out for a little while before they headed out.
So as the title says: Happy New Year...
and to the Sheffermans (Mark, Pam, & Awesome Nephew Alex): We're gonna miss